I keep thinking it’s a joke. You know, just another example of those wild-and-crazy Republicans trying to put one over on us. But now here we are, several days into the announcement that Sarah Palin will be the Grand Ol’ Party’s choice to be only a heartbeat away from the Presidency, and I’m still waiting for the punch line.

In fact…oh, my, they’re as serious as a Karl Rove lie, aren’t they? They actually believe the American public is so dumb, so gullible, so morally bankrupt, and so easy to manipulate that they actually can sell this female Bubba from Alaska who quickly has become the poster lady – pinup girl? – for every far-right wingnut this side of Siberia.

To be fair, there are some positives about having Ms. Palin, a former TV sportscaster and runner-up in the Miss Alaska contest, on the ticket with John McCain, the longtime U.S. Senator from Arizona and former Vietnam prisoner-of-war who recently celebrated his 72nd birthday.

For one thing, she’s 44, and the Republicans need youth like Ted Stevens needs a good lawyer. For another, and you can accuse me of being politically incorrect if you wish, she’s attractive. OK, she’s hot – and when did any of us ever think we would say that about a Republican Vice-Presidential candidate?

Finally, and most importantly, she’s not Dick Cheney. After eight years of watching Darth Vader look over Junior’s shoulder, the voters need to have the Republicans give them a Veep candidate who doesn’t make us shudder every time he bats a beady eye.

But that’s about it. When you look at her, ah, credentials, you have to go, “Huh?” You have to want to grab a member of the Republican National Committee and say, gasping for breath between guffaws, “Oh, stop it…you’re killing me here.”

The thing I can’t figure is whether the Republicans have (a) lost their senses, (b) decided to commit political suicide, (c) become so arrogant that they really believe they can get away with anything, or (d) know something about Ms. Palin that they’re not revealing.

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I mean, there has to be more to her than meets the eye, although what meets the eye is quite pleasing. Surely she has an IQ that’s off the charts. Or a solution for the energy crisis. Or something other than the facts that she likes to hunt and fish, is a card-carrying member of the NRA, opposes abortion under any circumstances, and thinks that certain books and sex education both should be banned from public schools.

I mean, she started her career as a TV sports reporter in Idaho. Nothing against TV sports reporters. Some of my good friends are TV sports reporters. But, ah, I never imagined Bob Domine as Vice-President, if you get my drift.

She favors teaching creationism in the public schools, so she definitely should be given a tour of the Creation Museum when she visits Kentucky. Geez, if she it turns out that she loves to chew tobacco and suck down a few suds, she can run for Ms. Truckstop USA if the Vice-Presidential thing doesn’t work out for her.

It’s almost as if McCain is, indeed, the Manchurian candidate. You know, a guy who was programmed in captivity to do something utterly destructive late in his life. If this is what his highly touted experience tells him is best for the nation, he’s even farther around the bend than his critics claim.

I love it when the Republicans argue, with a straight face, that Ms. Palin has extensive administrative experience due to her two terms as mayor of Wasilla, Alaska (Pop. 9,000) and her year and a half as Governor of Alaska (Pop. 650,000, or roughly the size of Greater Louisville).

Yessir, in case McCain’s health fails, a distinct possibility considering his age, that’s exactly the sort of person I want answering that 3 a.m. phone call that Hillary Clinton made famous in her campaign against Barack Obama. She’ll know how to deal with that Putin rascal, won’t she? She’ll show him it’s not nice to mess with Mother Nature or Hockey Mom or whatever you want to call her.

Speaking of Hillary, of all the people that should feel insulted by Ms. Palin’s presence on the Republican ticket, women generally – and those who supported Hillary in particular – are at the top of the list. All Palin and Clinton have in common is their gender. Period. The gap between their accomplishments and values is wide as the Bering Sea.

As the columnist Ruth Marcus wrote, “Clinton’s candidacy was attractive to me because it was not premised on gender…Palin’s selection, though, feels like a disappointing retreat to the identity politics of 1984, when Geraldine Ferraro was picked for the Democratic ticket solely because Walter Mondale wanted a woman.”

It also looks as if the intelligence McCain got on Palin was done by the same sleuths who told us that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. Since her selection, it has come to light that she’s involved in a public and nasty dispute involving her former brother-in-law, and that her unmarried daughter is several months pregnant.

It would be nice to say she’s more than just a pretty face…but she’s not. She’s just another small-time, right-wing political hack. If the women who suppored Clinton should feel insulted – and they definitely should – how about all the qualified Republicans who got snubbed?

When it’s time for Palin to debate Joe Biden, the ratings will be higher than for the Obama-McCain debates. Democrats will be hoping to see Biden expose just how shallow and ill-qualified she is. Republicans will waiting to pounce on Biden for being an intellectual bully. Personally, I hope he turns her into Baked Alaska.

But wait a minute. Could it be that the Republicans have sucker-punched us again? Could it be that near the end of the convention they’re going to unveil somebody like Mitt Romney – you know, somebody with legitimate credentials — as the real Veep candidate as they chant “We fooled you, we fooled you” at the hated liberal reporters in the hated liberal media?

That has to be the case. Man, they almost suckered me in, but I figured it out just in time. Sarah Palin for Vice-President? Hah! Who said Republicans don’t have a sense of humor?